Odilon Green

8va / odilongreen   1 album   13 tracks

A collaboration I did with CTS as part of FAWM 2017. I am very happy how this turned out. CTS came up with the "Zombie After-Party" title and, after bouncing the title off me, prepared the music, which was perfect. I took the music track and added the lyrics and vocals. He then tweaked the music a bit, and that was that. I'm definitely looking forward to working with CTS again one day!

Zombie After-Party
(c) 2017 CTS (music), Odilon Green (lyrics & vocals)

Zombie...after-party....

That’s the name of the film I’m going to see
Got an invite from a really kinda creepy
Dude who was handing them out in the street
I snagged two for a free Valentine’s treat, but [shriek]
Was what my girl said
I think she wanted some chocolates instead
She said we’re through, and I know I’m a dick
But no gal’s worth passing up a zombie flick
I head on out to the theater alone
Tune out from the world, turn off my phone
Though I guess it probably is a bad sign
When the usher says: [you’re mine]

Take my seat
Lights go down
Zombies on screen
Eating up downtown
But then blood goes flying (off the screen)
Guts go splatter (in my lap)
Monsters walk off screen
Reality shatters (zombie attack!)

Watching horror films, I’d fantasize
About being the hero, surviving til sunrise
Fighting for real doesn’t seem like fun
Someone else can be brave; I choose to run
Popcorn and eyeballs lay scattered on the floor
I hear screams around me as I stagger to the door
Behind me the footsteps of the zombie tide
But things are even worse when I stagger outside

Everywhere I look
All I can see
Is carnage and death
And rampaging zombies
This isn’t a film (they’re everywhere)
We’re really screwed (the day has come)
Monsters are here
Mankind is food (it’s the end of the world)

It’s utter devastation out in the street
They must be starving 'cause all they do is eat
And chase, and devour more flesh
They ignore the dead bodies; they want it fresh
An old man turns with a glint in his eye
The eye that still remains after he died
His stomach ripped out but his ravenous glare
Makes it clear the hunger is there
There’s nowhere to run; I’m completely hemmed in
By two creepy kids who might be twins
It’s a bit hard to tell when most of their faces
Have been torn and devoured in various places
This is the end, I think to myself
Eaten by corpses strangely resurrected
But you know what? I think deep down
This is kind of what I always expected

But then a shot
Blasts through the night
The old man’s head is gone
He goes down without a fight
A steel sword blade (Where’d that come from?)
Cuts through the necks (I’m glad it’s here)
Of both the twins
And there’s my ex?

I said, “Hey, what’s up?”
She said, “Don’t be an jerk.”
I said “That was pretty cool.”
She answered with a smirk
She said “I’m not a delicate girl
As I think you can plainly see
The zombies are having fun now
But I’m throwing the after-party”

I know my place
As the sun rises
Death is all around
But my gal is full of surprises
She slices up zombies
Every which way
This is
The best Valentine’s Day
Don’t Reject Your Beard
(c) 2016 Odilon Green

VERSE 1

Every day I am thankful
That although I'm going bald
I have a full and flowing beard
That stays with me through it all

When times get very tough
When people let me down
I run my fingers through by beard
It turns my whole day around

I'd never want to loose even
A solitary whisker
Though some people look at me strange
To shave is not the answer

I know that each and every hair
Fills a special role
If I plucked even one out
I'd feel the gaping hole

CHORUS

Don't reject your beard
Every whisker is unique
If someone says to cut it off
Don’t turn the other cheek

Don't reject your beard
Not a single strand
A beard is at its strongest
When you let every hair stand

VERSE 2

My beard may be unruly but
It's all part of my face
Every whisker plays its part
Each has its place

Some hairs are turning grey
And though I try to look my best
Some are bent or oddly twist
Some stick out from the rest

I’d plainly look much neater
If I went with a goatee
But keeping the whole tangled mess
Is what makes me, me

And the fact my beard looks different
Is not reason to hate
It’s what makes my beard so special
It’s what makes our union great

CHORUS

Don't reject your beard
Let it fill you up with pride
If someone says to cut it off
Tell them "request denied"

Don't reject your beard
Not a single strand
A beard is at its strongest
When you let every hair stand

BRIDGE

A beard is nothing but single hairs

CHORUS

Don't reject your beard
Every whisker is unique
If someone says to cut it off
Don’t turn the other cheek

Don't reject your beard
Let it fill you up with pride
If someone says to cut it off
Tell them "request denied"

Don't reject your beard
Not a solitary strand
A beard is at its strongest
When you let every hair stand
A ghost story. Another song inspired by a Motern Media song title, completely repurposed.

Plow Guy Hit My Garage
(c) 2016 The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals

VERSE 1

Out in my garage sits a special memento
A perfectly maintained Jackson Model C
A brass era car and the pride and joy
Of the first farmer my father brought to his knees

Pops founded a bank so he'd rake in the cash
Charging high interest rates on the money he loaned
One farmer fell behind when the drought hit the plains
My father seized all that this farmer owned

CHORUS

I’ve come for your Jackson, to pay off your debt
I’ve come for your Jackson, plus the foreclosure fee
I’ve come for your Jackson, I feel no regret
I’ve come for your Jackson, now give it to me

VERSE 2

Dad sold most everything that had any value
As the destitute farmer helplessly grieved
But my father kept that gleaming brass Jackson
A souvenir of all he had achieved

All the farmer had left were the things not worth selling
A weak sickly ox and a rusty old plow
As he shuffled away to wherever poor folk go
He turned to my Dad and made a solemn vow

CHORUS

I will come for my Jackson, you've taken what's mine
I will come for my Jackson, mark my words well
I will come for my Jackson, I've got nothing but time
I will come for my Jackson, come heaven or hell

VERSES 3-4

Like dear dead dad I'm also a banker
And like him I despise a deadbeat
If you borrow my money, then you pay your debts
It's a hard world, you've got to be strong to compete

I'm watching TV when the cable cuts out
In the sudden silence I hear footsteps fall
I look out the window and off in the distance
I see a stranger sight than any I can recall

A weak sickly ox pulls a rusty old plow
Guided by a dusty skeletal man
His battered straw hat pulled down hiding his face
He shuffles forth with determined plan

In the cleaved soil trailing the man and his ox
I see the TV cords he cut a few moments prior
With the ox's next step my power goes out
As the plow blade slices through my electric wire

And then my radio turns on…

CHORUS

I am coming for my Jackson, you've taken what's mine
I am coming for my Jackson, mark my words well
I am coming for my Jackson, I've got nothing but time
I am coming for my Jackson, come heaven or hell

VERSES 5-6

Everything is dark, there's no moon, no stars
But the plow, does it shine its own light?
The man and his ox approach my garage
Direct, like a man with home in sight

"What madness are you," I yell at the man
As the ox reaches the garage wall
Then passes right through like the wind through the air
Not stopped by the boundary at all

But then the plow hits, and I feel the house tremble
It ruptures the wall like a pin to the eye
The plow creates a hole, and the man goes in after
Outside, only darkness is left in the sky

It's just some strange trick, I know that for sure
I grab my gun for extra courage
I yell out a warning, race out of my house
And plunge through the breach into the garage

I hear…

CHORUS

I’ve come for my Jackson, to pay off your debt
I’ve come for my Jackson, plus the foreclosure fee
I’ve come for my Jackson, I feel no regret
I’ve come for my Jackson, now give it to me

BRIDGE

And in tonight's news, a mysterious death in the wealthy Farmer's Glen gated community. The victim’s body -- which police would only describe as 'gruesome' -- was found buried in a shallow grave under the torn-up floor of his garage. Strangely, although neighbors were home at the time that police say the murder occurred, no one reported anything suspicious.

Police have their work cut out for them. Revenge is one possible motive, as the victim's bank has tossed many local families out of their homes. Or this may have been a simple robbery, as a rare Jackson Model C was taken from the victim's garage. Oddly, a rusted out plow and a complete set of ox bones appear to have been left in its place.

CHORUS

I’ve come for my Jackson, you've taken what's mine
I’ve come for my Jackson, mark my words well
I’ve come for my Jackson, I've got nothing but time
I’ve come for my Jackson, come heaven or hell
I decided to write a love song.

That Pretty Lady Just Farted, I Think
(c) 2016 The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals

INTRO

All right kiddo, is it time to change your diaper yet? [Sniff] Yep that's pretty gross. Let's get you cleaned up. [Sniff] Ugh... How can somebody so cute have poop that stinks so bad? Actually, I guess it's kind of fitting. Let me tell you a little story...

VERSES 1-2

An acquaintance who I knew from work
Who I thought was a bit of a jerk
Asked if I'd like to go
To a party he'd throw
With loud music so ladies would twerk

I thought it was pretty clear cut
That it's rude to check out people's butts
Still I had the night free
I'd go, but I'd be
A gentleman no matter what

From the moment I walked in the door
I wondered what I'd even come for
I tried to have fun
But I knew no one
I just stared at the living room floor

’Til I smelled an exotic perfume
While waiting in line for the bathroom
Standing right behind me
Also waiting to pee
Was a girl who brought light to my gloom

CHORUS

I said, “I’ve never smelt that, I mean, it smells great ”
She said, "Thanks, I like to make my own scents.”
I said, “I know what you mean, music’s what I create.”
She said, “Making things is cool, and is time well-spent”

VERSE 3

My heart soared into the air
And I wondered did I even dare
Hope that she liked me too
‘cause if it was true
Then just maybe we’d make a great pair

But then it got awkward real fast
And each second dragged out from the last
Conversation died
I was wholly tongue tied
And it felt like our moment had passed

CHORUS

I said, “Sooo… Nice weather?”
She said, “Yeah… A little cool for the date.”
I said, “I know what you mean, I should have brought a sweater.”
She said, “Hey person in the bathroom how long do we have to wait??”

VERSES 4-5

I was sad it was falling apart
At an end before it had a start
But fate, though unseen
Loudly intervened
When she loosed a remarkable fart

[Fart break]

There was no trace of red on her face
She felt not the slightest disgrace
Though everyone knew
Beyond doubt it was true
It was her who had stunk up the place

I know that farting is taboo
But sometimes it's just what one must do
Though perhaps immature
I knew for quite sure
I needed to rip a fart too

CHORUS

I said, "Sure, but how about…” [fart]
She said, “OK, but then…” [fart]
I said, “Yeah, but check out…” [fart]
She said, “That reminds me of when…” [fart]

BRIDGE

After that little display, we were politely asked to go
We laughed all the way to a cozy cafe I know
We’ve been together ever since, and we will never outgrow
Being as loud as we can, when we feel the need to blow

CHORUS x2

I say, "Sure, but how about…” [fart]
She says, “OK, but then…” [fart]
I say, “Yeah, but check out…” [fart]
She says, “That reminds me of when…” [fart]

I say, “What would you advise about…” [fart]
She says, “I recommend…” [fart]
I say, “I don’t mean to doubt, but…” [fart]
She says, “I guess in the end…” [fart]
3:16
The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals
Perhaps the greatest song about a killer clown coming to town ever recorded. Plus, there's a fish.

The Killer Clown Came to Our Town
(c) 2016 The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals

VERSES 1 & 2

Flubbo was a clown
Who wasn't much fun
He couldn't make people laugh
He couldn't sell a pun

He so wanted to spread
Joy and goodwill
But try as he might
He had no clowning skill

Then one fateful day
At a fifth birthday bash
He thought a magic trick
Would make a big splash

He pulled a fish bowl
From the hat on his head
But all the kids screamed
'Cause the little fish was dead

CHORUS

[Hey, look, there's that fish killer now!]

Flubbo the killer clown
The clown who made children cry
It’s Flubbo the killer clown
He's the clown who made the laughter die

VERSES 3 & 4

Flubbo wandered town to town
No one would let him in
He couldn’t live down that poor fish

Everyday he hoped anew
The he would find his place
Making people happy was his only wish

No one would give Flubbo a chance
But then he came to my town
And heard a pounding disco beat

He was drawn into my club
Like it was calling out his name
The rhythm tugging at his feet

[Instrumental interlude]

He'd never been out dancing so did
What came naturally
It always cheered him up to see
How silly he could be

Shuffling his big clown feet
And honking his red nose
Doing flips and pratfalls
He put on quite the show

CHORUS

[Hey, look, that guy's awesome!]

Flubbo the killer clown
His dancing really caught the eye
It’s Flubbo the killer clown
With killer moves so cool, you could just die

VERSE 5

Now Flubbo is beloved
By the hipster party crowd
They dig his zany moves
They sing his praises loud

We both know any day
A new hot fad may take his place
But Flubbo doesn’t care
“I’ve gained a lifelong love of bass”

BRIDGE

And don't feel bad for the little fish
It seems he faked his own death so he'd be flushed and go free
Now he dances in the ocean blue
Grooving to the song of his big dolphin buddy

CHORUS x2

Flubbo the killer clown
He once made children cry
It’s Flubbo the killer clown
He's waved those days goodbye

[Let's all hear it for]

Flubbo the killer clown
His dancing really grabs the eye
He's Flubbo the killer clown
With killer moves so cool, you could just die
2:46
The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals
This is a heartwarming song you should play for your children!

A Song About Polar Bears
(c) 2016 The Other Strange Man Who Also Sings About Dead Animals

VERSE 1

Some polar bears were wandering up near the north pole
Looking for a tasty seal to eat
When they came upon nine reindeer playing in the snowy cold
The bears rejoiced, for venison is a tasty treat

They devoured each and every reindeer on that frigid plain
But though bears waste not, not one would eat the nose
Of the smallest reindeer carcass, because though it sounds insane
It was so shiny some even said it glows.

CHORUS

The polar bears ate the reindeer
The blood flowed on the ice
The polar bears ate the reindeer
That wasn't very nice

VERSE 2

When Santa came upon the scene at first he was upset
That the bears had eaten his sleigh pulling team
But he quickly came to see that there was no cause for regret
And his twinkling eye soon regained its gleam

He was sick of gun nuts shooting at him every Christmas eve
Drawn by the red light shooting 'cross the night
But when it snows polar bears are much harder to perceive
And if attacked, well, polar bears can bite.

CHORUS

The polar bears saved Christmas
The sleigh cut through the sky
The polar bears saved Christmas
Who knew polar bears could fly?

BRIDGE

And Santa’s favorite part about his new troop of bear
Was the gentle reminder they gave kids to care
About the true meaning of Christmas, to be kind and to share
For tots who are not had better beware

A child who is sweet will get lots of great toys
And sugary treats, and snuggles, and joy
But children who are sour and their parents annoy
Will be eaten up whole, whether a girl or a boy

CHORUS

The polar bears saved Christmas
But don’t be naughty, do not cry
The polar bears saved Christmas
‘Cause if you're not good then you'll die
From the 50/90 Challenge in 2015, for the "cowbell" challenge.

Humanity Rises Up (The Cowbell Revolution)
(c) 2015 Odilon Green

VERSE 1

We came
From a very distant place
Our plan:
To conquer the human race
Not as servants or as pets
We’ve got machines to fill those needs
But fleshy humans
Are a delight on which to feed

So we gathered
The humans into giant farms
But we needed
To protect ourselves from harm
So we took away
Their ability to speak
They can’t communicate
And individually they’re weak

CHORUS

And to stop them
Running away
We use their own technology
To make them stay

A cowbell around their necks
So we can always hear
Wherever they may go
And keep them near

[Cowbell Rhythm]

VERSE 3

But lately
I think we made a big mistake
They cannot speak
But yet they still communicate
We can see it
In the way they stare at us
Like they have a plan
That they are able to discuss

CHORUS

To stop them
Running away
We use their own technology
To make them stay

A cowbell around their necks
So we can always hear
But it may have been a poor idea
To keep them near

[Cowbell Morse code: RISE DEFY LIVE FREE / JOIN KILL]

BRIDGE

We hear them on their way to take their planet back
Somehow humans rose up in a concerted attack
We thought we’d thought of everything to subdue this pack
But we’re about to get our asses kicked by our snack

CHORUS

To stop them
Running away
We used their own technology
To make them stay

A cowbell around their necks
So we can always hear
But it seems it was a bad mistake
To keep them near
Even more juvenile than usual (maybe ... actually, I'm often pretty juvenile), but this song is an imaginary solicitation to a very special art exhibit. Done in response to the weekly GYAWS challenge. The theme was "chaos," and while my thought process did start with that word, I ended up a great distance away.

David’s Butt
(c) 2016 Odilon Green

VERSE 1

So your teacher's taking the class on a trip to the museum
She is hoping to expose you to some high falutin' culture
Yet meadow paintings and old pottery are just sheer tedium
You can't think of a way to spend the day that's any duller

So let me tell you the good news about our brand new exhibition
We've got the cheekiest objects that even kids can get behind
At bottom, we are celebrating figures from the grand tradition
Focused on the most artistic butts you will ever find

CHORUS

The aesthetic butt
The harmonious butt
The elegant butt
The decorative butt
The dramatic butt
The imaginative butt
You got it, everything here,
is all about the butts

VERSE 2

I know right now you're thinking there's no way this could be true
Museums are far too stuffy for this concept to exist
But the whole body is art, so without further ado
Consider these artistic butts, just a partial list

Boucher's "Odalisque" has the butt insouciant
Heemskerck's Adam has a bottom well-toned
Eakins' "Swimming Hole" buns are proud and confident
Nivinsky's untitled rear is joyful and bold

[Chorus underneath]

Bosch's "Earthy" butt included musical notation
Bastida's work has them lounging care free in the tide
Muybridge's skill was putting naked butts in motion
"Bather" by Picasso put them off to the side

We have an ancient Roman statute called Venus Kallipygos
Which literally means "Venus of the Beautiful Buttocks"
Michaelangelo made David, surely the most famous
Extraordinary solid stone posterior deluxe

BRIDGE

Come on over
And check out our exhibit
Come on over
It's a show for everyone
Come on over
It's OK to think it's silly
Come on over
Because art can be fun

CHORUS
2:17
A "song-in-an-hour" for this week's "Song Skirmish" Facebook group challenge. The theme was "sixteen." Note that I met the challenge of completing the song in an hour, but basically bailed on the theme, just throwing the word "sixteen" in at one point in the lyrics.

Inspired by this real-life nuttiness:
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2016/06/citigroup-trademarks-thankyou-and-sues-att-for-thanking-clients/

“Thank You” For Me (But Not For You)
(c) 2016 Odilon Green

CHORUS

CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
My saying this isn't a prank
CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
And they'll sue you if you say thanks

VERSE 1

CitiBank has rewards programs
They market with the the word "Thankyou" (all one word)
And when they applied for a government trademark
Somehow their request was approved

The mere fact they could trademark "thankyou"
Itself is enough to amaze
But the world has gone crazy-pants nuts 16 ways
When you’re sued just for using that phrase

CHORUS

CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
It’s enough to make you hate banks
CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
They’ll come after you if you say thanks

VERSE 2

So AT&T decided to launch
The loyalty plan now in dispute
It's not even called "Thankyou" but "AT&T Thanks"
But still CitiBank filed suit

It's hard to feel too bad for AT&T
They've done some real screwy things too
But when Citi says AT&T can't say "thanks"
My mind starts to boggle anew

CHORUS

When I heard CitiBank trademarked "thankyou"
I was wondering how much I drank
How can someone trademark "thankyou,”
Or sue you just ‘cause you say thanks?

BRIDGE

It’s no wonder that people have no respect
For lawyers or big companies
But let’s not forget the
USPTO let
“Thankyou” be trademarked by Citi

Private interests can do really dumb things
But government sure can as well
Who do we trust
When we’re filled with disgust
And there’s nothing to do but to yell

CHORUS

CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
It’s hard to believe that it’s true
CitiBank has trademarked "thankyou"
So thank them for not suing you
A track for the weekly GYAWS Facebook songwriting challenge. This week's theme: "Stone." The Eumastas stone is real, and you can visit it during your next trip to the island of Santorini (formerly Thera) off the Greek coast.

Lift Me Up (The Eumastas Stone)
(c) 2016 Odilon Green

VERSE 1

One thousand stadia from the Greek mainland
One hundred years since Homer died
On the island of Thera there lived a man
They said his might could push back the tide

He was Eumastas, renowned among men
For his strength, mightier than a bull
He lifted a rock over 1000 pounds
For no better reason than that he could

CHORUS

Blessed by the gods (Eumastas)
With the strength of ten men (Eumastas)
A true child of Zeus (Eumastas)
Beyond the mortal ken (is Eumastas)

VERSE 2

The citizenry stood in awe of this triumph
They knew they saw greatness that day
No man would ever equal Eumastas in strength
Or beat his Herculean display

And so to celebrate this eternal feat
Engraved right on the stone can be found
"Eumastas, the son of Critobulus,
lifted me from the ground"

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Eumastas has faded as eons have flown
Such is the nature of fame
Though still to this day no one's lifted that stone
The crowds have long forgotten his name

You can visit his stone in a tiny museum
In the Aegean sea, one-hundred miles from the Greek shore
Though most of the world has forgotten about him
His achievement and his stone endure

CHORUS
A song for the weekly "Song Skirmish" Facebook group. The theme was "My Hobby." I'll leave it to the listener's imagination to assess how based-in-truth this song may be.

The Manliest Art
(c) 2016 Odilon Green

VERSE 1

I get up on the stage
The crowd starts to cheer
I rip off my shirt
And you can't even hear
The bass from the speakers
Cause of all of the screams
From both the women and the men
Who are witnessing their dreams

Under the lights
Heck, it's hot as hell
But it's all worthwhile
When I hear the MC yell
"Competitor six
Has the judges impressed
With the pastoral nature scene
Shaved in the hair on his chest"

PRE-CHORUS

Do you want to see some wooly sheep
Grazing between downy mountain peaks?
Then I'm your guy, because my special skill
Is sculpting body hair to give you a thrill

CHORUS 1

Man-man-man-man-scaping
Isn't just for hygiene
Man-man-man-scaping
Or even just for art
Man-man-man-man-scaping
Is a competitive sport
Man-man-man-scaping
Every man can take part

VERSE 2

I flex my pecs
The little sheep bounces
Someone swoons
People grab their spouses
For a special treat
I do a stomach roll
Hey, the cow shaved on my belly
Is going for a stroll!

Then all breathing stops
When I spin around
I spread my lat muscles
For a sight that astounds
The Creation of Adam
Is on display there
Da Vinci's masterpiece
Shaved in my back hair

PRE-CHORUS

Do you want to see something unique?
Craftsmanship on a fuzzy physique?
Then I'm your guy, and you're in for a treat
Because my body shaving skills are sweet

CHORUS 2

Man-man-man-man-scaping
Isn’t just a hobby
Man-man-man-scaping
Takes lots of time
Man-man-man-man-scaping
But with such a canvas
Man-man-man-scaping
Waxing is a crime

BRIDGE

And now its time to seal the deal
In daily life, I'm pretty genteel / but in
Competition, I've got stones of steel
I push down my trunks and so fully reveal

My butt to the crowd, but no pictures there
Just some words shaved on my derriere
A little bit of wisdom I thought I would share
"Use what you got, if they laugh, who cares?"

[Winner by a unanimous judges' decision, competitor six! And the crowd goes wild!]

CHORUS 1 Repeat
3:19
1.
The Little Boy Who Was Lifted Through The Shadows
3:30
2.
Morgan is Around Today
Unfortunate children who get their comeuppance ... through math and science.

Lyrics available on individual song pages:

1. The Little Boy Who Was Lifted Through The Shadows
2. Morgan is Around Today
In junior high a long, long time ago, I elected to take flute as my required instrument. Unfortunately, in my second year, I was put in a third-year class due to a scheduling conflict. Being so far behind everyone else made me miserable. As a result, I did . . . unfortunate things to my flute to sabotage it in order to try to get out of class.

The repair guy figured it out pretty quick.

Nonetheless, while I've always enjoyed a very active listening relationship with music, the whole experience pretty much killed any interest I had in making my own. Until over twenty years later, when for some reason I picked up a keyboard and a computer DAW.

And now, I'm loving every minute of it.